Puzzled
by madame.alexandra
Summary: Leia struggles to pay attention during a meeting...and she can't get to get her idle thoughts to cooperate and act ladylike. Han/Leia; Hoth/ESB.


a/n: toyed with the title of this chapter forever, which is why it didn't go up yesterday.

* * *

_Puzzled_

* * *

At one point in her youth, Leia had thought it a mark of intelligence to pay attention during lengthy meetings. She had certainly spent a lot of time in her early teens vehemently insisting that she enjoyed them, thriving on the feeling of exclusivity and importance every time she was able to attend a diplomatic round table or a senate committee hearing. She had been ambitious and eager to learn, lead, and be included, and thought it extremely distinguished of her to rave about how she found the 'process' to be stimulating...but her youth was long gone now, despite how young she still was in years alone, and she'd grown out of trying to find sophistication and excitement in things that _definitely_ could have just been a memorandum distributed over the 'Net.

She was fairly sure this meeting qualified as that sort of meeting. The kind that should have just been a memorandum. That way people could ignore it privately instead of drift off, glassy-eyed, right in front of each other. At least, Leia was assuming others were having as hard a time paying attention as she was. She couldn't be sure because she was, well...not paying attention. She was bored. She was so bored, and she was cold, because it was _always_ cold on Hoth. Two weeks ago, she'd forgotten what her toes felt like. For all she knew, they might have turned blue and broken off. She wouldn't know. She slept in two pairs of socks. She supposed if her balance ever became affected, she'd investigate the state of her toes.

She blinked lazily, shaking her head just slightly. Toes, cold toes...not the topic of this meeting. Not something she should be thinking about right now. She had long since forgotten what the hell this meeting was actually about, though. If at any point she was supposed to speak, her lack of attention would become painfully obvious, and that was likely to be a little embarrassing, but she doubted she was slated to present or comment. If she _was,_ she'd have notes. She always had her notes with her if she was going to speak.

She felt a yawn coming on, and tried to stifle it, looking blearily around the conference room. The table was cold against her skin where her hand rested on it, and she frowned, wishing she'd brought her gloves. She always felt slightly ridiculous wearing gloves _indoors_ \- no one else seemed to do so - but it was just so cold, and did anything on this base made of literal ice actually count as _indoors? _Debatable, highly debatable. Hoth was so cold that sometimes she had to actively try to melt ice just to have drinking water.

She managed to fight down the yawn, but then her eyes twitched, and she frowned at herself. Not paying attention was one thing; falling asleep was a cardinal sin. If she fell asleep during a leadership meeting, while Mon was droning on about (what was she talking about, anyway?), Bail Organa would probably rise from the grave to give her a well-deserved lecture about respect, and he'd have that deeply disappointed look on his face that always used to make Leia want to cry.

Subtly, Leia reached up and rubbed the tip of her nose hard, hoping that would wake her up a little. She tapped idly on the pad in front of her to look engaged, and then cast her eyes around surreptitiously, trying to determine if everyone else was as numb and uninterested as she was. Crix Madine certainly looked _fascinated_ with the goings on, and Leia resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him. She _liked_ Crix. Liking him was a sticky sort of situation, since he had been involved in such a grotesque Imperial-driven tragedy on Dentaal, but that was also what had wracked him with guilt and driven him to defect, and his knowledge of Imperial tactics was unparalleled. But she did like him, and she trusted him. He'd gone farther in the Imperial Academies and up the chains of command than Han had, and since defecting, he'd proved himself enough for Leia to feel satisfied about his loyalties. But he was still a bit of a kiss ass around most of the High Command. Probably because half of them - Rieekan, even - considered him tainted.

She didn't think Han liked him too much, but that might be because Crix had taken over as the expert on Imperial military techniques and training, which gave Han one less reason to claim he was hanging around. Then again, Leia had heard that sometimes Corellian males behaved like territorial dogs around each other, so maybe it was just that.

_Speaking of_...her eyes fell on Han, and her lips curved down in a mild frown. He was leaning back in a chair - practically spinning in it, actually - and juggling a puzzle cube in one hand. He kept tapping edges of it with a few fingers, encouraging the colours to change, and Leia narrowed her eyes. He wasn't even pretending to be paying attention - other than the fact that his eyes were on Mon - and what was he doing here, anyway? He wasn't enlisted, much less part of the upper echelon. He never attended this sort of thing, even when he was invited - which, to Leia's knowledge, had been twice before, not including today. Studying him, Leia decided he did, in fact, look slightly bewildered as to why he'd been included.

He tossed the puzzle cube from one hand to the other, and then held it in front of him, shifting some of the blocks lazily. Leia watched an entire side of the cube turn hazy green, and she narrowed her eyes slightly. He switched another panel around and a second side of the cube turned immaculate blue. How was he - ? Leia gave up on puzzle cubes within twenty minutes and he was just...?

Han looked up and saw her watching him. He tossed the cube up, caught it, and grinned at her. Then he adjusted his face sternly, pointed at Mon Mothma, and shook his head, as if admonishing her for not paying attention. Leia narrowed her eyes a little more, glaring at him. He made a show of listening attentively to Mon, a stupid smirk on his face, and Leia eyed the line of his jaw moodily.

The dull, monotonous buzz of Mon's voice echoed around her, and she was dimly aware of someone - Dodonna, she thought - asking a question, which was _miraculous,_ because a moment ago even Dodonna had looked completely zoned out. He was probably just doing it to make Mon feel better. _Good for him_, Leia thought to herself, and then allowed herself a brief moment to reflect on the fact that Luke had told her that Hobbie Klivien was _convinced_ that Mon and Jan had a thing going on. Leia knew for a fact that was not true, but she kept Mon's secrets, and besides, Hobbie's flow chart explaining his theory was hilarious.

Leia flicked her eyes down to her datapad, noting the time, and then looked back up. She found herself looking at Han again. He was back to fiddling with the puzzle cube, and Leia decided if he managed to solve it right in front of her, she'd pretend to faint and get herself out of this snooze fest. She wasn't exactly sure why she decided that, except it gave her something to root for, and she hadn't fake fainted since she was still living on Alderaan, so it might be good to practice. A good fake faint was a really nice weapon to have.

Han confidently twisted part of the cute, but suddenly the whole thing went multicolored again, and the look on his face was so offended, Leia almost laughed out loud. He frowned, his brow furrowing deeply, and redoubled his efforts - Leia wondered if he knew she was watching, and was trying to show off - gritting his teeth as he did so. Amused, she let her eyes wander over his profile, and then down to his throat, and then down to his shoulder. His shirt was rolled up to the elbow today, which was obnoxious. Wasn't he cold? _Probably not_, Leia decided with a sigh. Han had given her a hug sometime last month, she didn't remember why, and his entire body had been so warm she was afraid someone was going to have to pry her off of him. But she'd never have lived that down, so instead she'd shoved him away and yelled at him for something. He'd just looked at her with a bit of an annoyed, wounded look. He did that a lot lately.

Annoyed she could take. Wounded made her feel...well, not nice.

_Maybe he just runs hot_, she thought to herself, her eyes drifting down to boots. He had one propped up on his knee, leaning back casually. Her eyes followed the crimson stitch of his bloodstripe from the top of his boot up to his knee, and then around over his thigh. _Where are you going with this, Leia?_ Her subconscious demanded prudishly and then, unbidden, an idle question flitted through her mind - _I wonder what he looks like naked. _

Leia's elbow nearly slid off the conference table. She caught it, and managed not to make any sudden movements, but blinked hard at herself. That thought had come out of absolutely _nowhere. _Furrowing her brow in a small, personal scowl, she forced her gaze down to her datapad and flared her nostrils. She didn't _care_ what Han Solo looked like naked; she had _no interest_ in that, and there was no reason for such a thing to cross her mind. She vehemently objected to it, in fact.

She pointedly looked over at Mon. She felt her face flush, and wanted to swear aloud. Why did her _face_ always have to _flush?_

Before she knew it, her gaze was drifting slowly back to Han. He'd gotten his puzzle cube to cooperate again.

_Think about him naked. Pretend he's naked._

Some part of her brain, some obviously depraved, possessed part of it, driven mad by the cold, hassled her relentlessly, and she stared at Han's bloodstripes, somehow unable to look at his face. She grit her teeth angrily. _I will not_ -

_NAKED HAN SOLO. _

Leia reached up and rubbed her forehead hard. She shifted, and she felt someone turn and glance at her, mildly interested. She considered banging her head on the desk. What in the name of - ?

_Fine, you prude, think about him without his shirt on. _

Leia found herself increasingly outraged at her own inner thoughts. She was offended by the content, and then offended also at the insult, and really, she wanted nothing more than to get out of this meeting, because she was clearly suffering from some sort of temporary insanity. _I'm not a prude,_ she grumbled silently to herself.

Her stomach dipped, as if she was laughing at herself, and she frowned. She pressed her palm to her nose, and pretended to be yawning. She scrunched her nose a little, and peeked around one of her fingers, staring at Han. She _wasn't_ a prude, she just had no interest in seeing or imagining Han, specifically, without his clothes on, which was why -

_He had that open neck shirt on that one time, though. His chest was nice. Bet the rest of him is just as nice. Bet he's got a nice - _

Leia swiveled her chair to the side hard, scandalized. She arranged her face into a hard, determined mask, and stared inscrutably - what she hoped was inscrutably - at the board Mon was lecturing off of. Why was Mon still talking? And _why_ was she, Leia, suddenly in an internal battle with the _deviant witch_ that had possessed her regarding the attributes of Han's unclothed physique?

Unable to stop herself, Leia's eyes slide to the side a little, and she caught sight of Han again. He pushed a hand back through his hair.

_If he was naked, and if I was having sex with him, I could push his hair back._

Leia jerked her gaze away and chose to stare at the back of Dodonna's head instead. Yes, Dodonna. Old, conservative, grouchy Dodonna. Buzzkill Dodonna. She concentrated on thinking things like that, and yet, still, and again unbidden, more entirely inappropriate thoughts barged through the mundane and whispered tantalizing temptations in her ear.

_He probably sleeps naked. He'd let me look. He'd let me see him naked, he wants me to. He wants to see me naked. He...he'd see the scars though. Not pretty. _

Leia blinked hazily, shifting uncomfortable. She frowned to herself, forgetting to school her features. She - what - so, her concern was suddenly that he might see scars, rather than the fact that she was definitely not interested in getting naked with Han? Confused, she pursed her lips, blinked distractedly, tried to open her ears and start listening to Mon again.

She couldn't seem to hear her at all.

_Imagine him naked._

Helplessly, Leia glanced sideways at Han again, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully. She had seen part of his chest before, so it was easy to envision the rest of his bare skin, same tone, same warmth - he was muscular, that was pretty evident even with clothes on, and he probably did have a - well, if the way he sometimes talked about his past exploits was true, then his - all that pride and ego had to stem from somewhere, didn't...? Leia nearly fell out of her seat as a barrage of explicit images rolled through her brain, stock representations of men she'd seen on holos or on nude beaches and bathing gardens, and she almost squeaked out loud at herself.

She blinked very hard, looking around quickly to see if anyone was paying attention to her. Mind-reading was impossible? No one in this room could possibly know that a little scroll of every dick she'd ever seen had just danced jauntily through her mind as if they might be used as a template for Han Solo. Leia's mouth went dry and she started to panic - none of those were his, and she couldn't just sit here and make one up for him, she wasn't exactly a pro - her experience of naked men _in_ the actual flesh _in_ her presence was that one guy who exposed himself to her on Sullust and that one boyfriend who she had definitely _thought_ she was going to mess around with until he whipped it out and she immediately, for some reason, wanted to be back in her room by herself. Instead she'd just politely told him it was nice but that she'd changed her mind, thank you very much, and could he please leave before the Viceroy came home and lost his mind.

_Oh, damn. I am a prude. _

She grit her teeth.

She was spiraling. There was no returning from the black hole her thoughts had just gotten sucked into - what was next? Was she going to sit right here at this conference table and for some completely nonsense, radical reason start imagining Han just, just, ah, bending her over a table or something like some, some -

_Oh, no. _

She definitely was imagining that now. And they were both naked.

_Of course we're both naked, how would he fuck me with my clothes on...?_

Leia reached beneath the table, and pinched herself hard on the thigh. Her eyes watered. Across the table, Han flipped his puzzle cube up in the air and caught it smugly; Leia noticed it was solved now, each side a smooth, congruous colour. She was supposed to fake faint, then. She'd challenged herself to that. Which was good, because she might actually faint, if for no other reason than to exorcise the complete harlot of a demon who was currently inhabiting her -

"...think of the conclusion, Princess?"

Leia nearly jumped out of her skin. She turned a wide-eyed look on Mon Mothma, painfully aware of all eyes on her.

To her right, Carlist yawned, unconcerned.

"What?" Leia asked abruptly.

Mon Mothma repeated the full question.

"Oh," Leia said. "Yes."

"Yes you think that's an accurate interpretation? Or yes you think we should proceed?"

Leia blinked at her.

"...Yes," she said again.

Han had the nerve, sitting over there with his stupid puzzle, to snort. Loudly.

"Ah. Okay," Mon said. She raised her hands. "Perhaps we should - "

"Actually, I have a question," Leia interrupted shortly. She pointed at Han, her fingers shaped like a blaster, her expression dark. _"What_ is he doing here?"

She realized she sounded incredibly rude, and the shocked expression on Mon's face echoed that. Even Dodonna looked mildly surprised at her tone, probably because Leia usually defended Han - at least to Jan, she did.

Despite the fact that he'd previously looked confused about why he was here, too, Han managed to look _immensely_ offended at the question, even putting a hand to his heart as if he'd been stabbed.

"Why, he," Mon began, questioning. "He...was the one who overheard the conversation that brought us this intelligence," Mon said slowly. "On his last supply run. I thought he might like to see how we analyzed it and decided to act."

Leia gave her a grumbling look.

"Well, he is clearly _not_ interested, as he sat here this entire meeting and completed a puzzle cube," she pointed out acerbically.

She felt like she was having an out of body experience. It was out of line to be so hostile towards Han for no reason, but she desperately wanted to be leagues away from him right now. She needed to be alone to have a talk with herself. And maybe a conversation with the waterfall massage setting in her 'fresher. Resisting the urge to slap that thought out of her head, Leia glared at Han.

"Mon, I think she's just upset that I finished a puzzle cube," Han said innocently.

"I _am not_," Leia snapped. "Anyone can finish - "

He threw it to her, and she lurched back with a squeak, managing to catch it.

"Okay, show me," he challenged.

Suddenly, everyone was looking at her. Carlist had the nerve to have a stupid grin on his face, and Leia made a mental note to verbally decapitate him later. Luckily, Mon Mothma was not as big a fan of shenanigans as Carlist seemed to be, and she cleared her throat politely.

"As I was saying, perhaps we should break for the day," she said. "We can continue this discussion when everyone is a bit more...engaged."

She gave Leia a pointed look, but Leia was too busy leaping out of her seat as if it were on fire and storming from the room. She did not have it in her to care how absurd her behavior appeared, she only concerned herself with putting her much distance between herself and Handsome Solo as she could.

_Han - Handsome? HANDSOME?_

Leia did pop herself in the forehead at that one - what was she, some simpering schoolgirl with a _crush?_ No, that was ludicrous, she didn't have a crush. Crushes were for people who had homes to go to and parents who were alive and nothing to worry about but what HoloNote program was best for doodling in during lessons, and she had none of those things. _Well, it's probably a lot more than a crush, and I just don't let myself think about it, because that's probably a world of hurt, and everything hurts all the time anyway_-

_Begone, witch!_ Leia howled at the voice in her head.

She stopped and stared at her palm, realizing she'd smacked herself in the forehead with the puzzle cube. It glimmered happily in her palm, all six sides of it a different colour - red, green, yellow, purple, blue, pink. In her whole life, she'd only ever been able to get three sides solved at once on one of these things. She glared at it. Han hadn't even looked like he was trying.

_He's good at figuring things out. He's good at figuring _me _out. _

A hand came to rest on her shoulder, giving a gentle little tug, and Leia reached up and smacked it, whipping around. She tilted her head up and glared.

"Don't _grab_ me, Han, how many times do I have to tell you not to _grab_ me?" she snapped.

Han's hand sprung off her quickly and he held it up.

"I didn't _grab_," he started, and then he trailed off. He shrugged. "Okay. Sorry."

He let his arm fall slowly, and Leia sighed, deflating.

"I know you weren't grabbing me," she decided, twitching her shoulder.

Han shrugged again.

"You say it's a grab, it's a grab," he muttered.

Leia looked at him warily.

"What?" she asked.

"What do you mean, what?" Han retorted.

She arched her brows, exasperated.

"You followed me and," she stopped herself from saying _grab,_ because she really didn't think he had meant to. It wasn't entirely abnormal for a person to get another person's attention by taking their arm or shoulder after hurrying up to them. She just didn't like it, even though it never _used_ to bother her. "You wanted my attention," she said, more mildly.

"Well, yeah," Han said blithely. He pointed to her hand. "First off, you got my puzzle cube," he said seriously. "Second off, you're actin' _real_ weird."

"I am not acting weird."

"Okay," Han agreed skeptically. "Still got my puzzle cube," he retorted stubbornly.

She looked at it, and then handed it to him. He took it and tossed it up and down lazily. In a few twists of his hands, he resent the program. Leia watched as all the colours flashed around, and it was a mixed multitude again, frustrating and unfinished. She blinked, pursing her lips.

"How did you solve that so fast?" she asked.

"Anyone can finish one," he quoted back to her.

Leia sighed. She folded her arms. Her brow furrowed, and she looked back up at him, studying his face again. Her thoughts were quieter, now, since she was engaged in conversation with him, but they were still awake, and murmuring. She was afraid if she looked at him for too long, they might come back, louder, and she might do something truly insane like say them out loud or worse, invite Han back to her bedroom or something, and what the _fuck_ would she do with him then? _Oh, here's where I sleep, Han, now if you could just show me your penis so I can be cured of this affliction, and change my mind, and kick you out - _

A worse thought occurred to her: she was pretty sure she might let him keep it out.

Her face turned red, and Han gave her a funny look. He tossed the cube up once more, and looked down at it.

"I've never solved one," she said. She blurted the admission for lack of anything else to say, and thought vaguely it might explain why she looked embarrassed.

"Well, they're hard," Han said bluntly.

He didn't make fun of her for it, and Leia arched her brow a little.

"You gotta spend all your time ignoring how it _should_ work," he said, twisting a few of the blocks. One side immediately lit up blue, and Leia blinked, impressed. "So if you're a person who likes rules and stuff," he shrugged. "Even harder."

"I see," Leia said shortly.

Han tossed it to her, and she caught it again.

"Play with it," he said. "Don't give it back to me 'til you figure it out."

Leia blinked sharply, pursing her lips. _Don't give it back to me 'til you figure it out?_ Was that some kind of metaphor? She squinted her eyes, and, seemingly unconcerned with her scrutiny, Han scratched his jaw, frowning to himself. He rubbed a raw spot near his ear, and Leia noticed he'd missed a spot shaving this morning. She swallowed hard.

"What were you thinkin' about?" Han asked suddenly.

Leia immediately put herself on guard.

"Excuse me?"

"In that meeting," Han said, jerking his head. "When Mon asked your opinion, you looked like someone had just walked in on you naked," he snorted.

Then he seemed to think maybe it wasn't a great joke, and hastily stopped laughing. He winced, but Leia was too busy gaping at him, affronted, because of how similar his line of thinking seemed to be to what had actually been going on in her head. She closed her mouth and narrowed her eyes at him, scrambling to make something up. Then, it occurred to her that for once, if she could catch him off guard, she'd have the upper hand in some of their banter, and that could be fun. So, overtaken, apparently, by the same impish entity that had been bedeviling her all morning, she decided to be honest and see what he did. He probably wouldn't believe her anyway.

"I was picturing you naked," she said, deadpan.

She expected Han to give her one of his roguish smirks and have a suggestive, teasing remark immediately at the ready, but instead he gave her a baffled look and made a gesture as if - as if he were - _covering_ himself. Leia's eyes followed his hand, incredulous, but he folded them so fast that she decided she might have imagined the movement. His shoulders slanted forward some, and he seemed...wary?

"Yeah?" he said dryly. "How'd I look?"

Leia blinked at him. Was he...concerned that he hadn't been..._appealing_ in her fantasy? She twitched her nose, sternly reminding herself it _wasn'_t a fantasy, it was an intrusive thought that she was still planning to set on fire. She transferred the puzzle cube from hand to hand, suddenly growing irritated. Well, now she was trapped. If she told him he looked good, she might imply all sorts of things. But she wasn't about to be cruel and put him down, either.

"You looked," Leia began tartly, "like a naked man."

At that, Han started to look more amused than self-conscious. He didn't smirk at her, but he did give her a lopsided grin.

"'Could be worse," he quipped. "Least I didn't look like a naked Hutt. 'Course, that don't take much imagination."

Leia snorted. Han reached out and tapped the puzzle cube.

"You sure as hell need that, then," he said wryly. "Keeps your mind out of the gutter, _Your Worship_."

He gave her a sly look, and slipped past her, running a hand through his hair. Leia turned to watch him, her eyes flicking over his back, and she put one hand on her hip, eyeing the cube in her hand.

"Is that what _you _use it for?" she demanded.

He turned to glance at her, arching his brows suggestively.

"Is that how you got so good at solving it?" she goaded, her eyes darkening a little jealously. He certainly was talented at solving the damn thing. Did he just spend all of his time thinking about hordes of naked -

"Well," he drawled, "you hang around me a lot," he fired back.

Leia cocked her head, lips pursing, then flushed a little at the implication. She looked down at the glimmering cube. Then, she looked back up sternly.

"I don't hang around you. _You_ hang around _me_."

"You're always lurking around the _Falcon_!" Han argued. "The _Falcon_ is _my_ ship!"

"Docked on my rebel base. With _my_ rebellion," Leia retorted. "Lurking?" she demanded.

Han arched a brow at her. She folded her arms, tapping the puzzle cube in the crook of her arm. She held his gaze, and Han glared back at her defiantly.

"Don't give me attitude, Princess," he said finally, in a light, amusing tone. "You're the one who was violating me with your dirty mind."

Her jaw dropped.

"_Viol_ \- I was - _Han,_" she protested, equal parts irritated, and concerned he might actually think that. He laughed at her, and she scowled at him. "You're saying you've never done the same?" she demanded. "Imagined me naked?"

Han gave her an affronted look.

"I just solve the cube, Sweetheart," he quipped, pointing at it. He looked up at her, and then, he did smirk. "I don't think I got enough imagination to live up to the real thing," he teased, "so, m'waitin'."

Leia looked at him passively for a moment. He threw her a wink, and turned on his heel to swagger away, and she narrowed his eyes, glaring at his back. _The real thing_ \- he was so arrogant. She really needed to do something about that overconfident - _did he really think_ \- she drew her arm back, contemplating chucking the puzzle cube right at his inflated head, but she paused, and tucked her hand back down. That wasn't fair; technically _she_ had started it.

"Oh," he called, turning back suddenly, and cupping his hands as he walked backwards. "You ever _do_ want to see me naked in the flesh, Princess, just return that cube to me after midnight," he drawled. "I sleep naked."

She must have looked like she was going to throw the cube again, because he sort of ducked and sidestepped before he turned back around and strolled off and Leia, ears burning, turned quickly to look over her shoulder and see if anyone else was in the hallway, since he'd shouted practically at the top of his lungs. Rieekan and Madine were both staring at her from the doorway of the conference room, apparently having abruptly cut their conversation short. Madine hastily looked away. Rieekan just seemed to be studying her to see if he needed to track down Solo and give him a talking to. Leia gave a slight shake of her head to Carlist and, blushing furiously, turned and stalked away, clutching the puzzle cube in her hand, and muttering to herself.

She held the toy up and gave a few violent twists, trying to force it to solve itself, and it burst into colours, taunting her, mixed up worse than it had been in the first place. She grit her teeth and gave a little frustrated grunt, shaking it._ Don't give it back to me 'til you figure it out_ \- well, what if she never figured the stupid thing out? Keeping it forever wouldn't do her any good - couldn't Han just - could he show her how to - she sighed, and came to a stop again, staring dubiously. She leaned against one of the cold, cold walls of the passageway, and turned her head, staring down the hall where Han had disappeared.

He made her _feel_ naked, and that was a whole separate puzzle, all in itself.

* * *

_-alexandra_

_story #390_


End file.
